Pizza is delicious… and honestly, not that hard to make. Yet we still go out and pay $30.00 a pie for a decent pizza meal. Prices are not the only way they try to get you, though! Here are 5 more ways they try to get you!
1. The Pizza Lunch/Dinner Buffet
The pizza buffet is a lie, and here’s why:
First of all, there is usually only one or two types of pizza out there. One of these is usually cheese or a very skimpy pepperoni. There are usually always breadsticks. Your enemy in getting your money’s worth out of a pizza buffet are breadsticks and time. The breadsticks are to fill you up while you’re waiting for the pizza you actually like to be made. Time is your enemy because the longer you wait, the more likely your stomach will decide that two slices is enough carbs and you’re out of the game.
Considering how fast pizza places have to be, you’re telling me they can’t meet the demand of a buffet? I watched as several popular pizza chains tried this on me. There was always only one pizza out at any given time, but I was encouraged to fill myself on more bread while I waited. By the time a pizza with any meat came out, very little time was left of the lunch buffet hours.
2. Stingy with the Toppings
Especially on adding a topping. What is it about adding sausage bits that suddenly makes every pepperoni need a personal force field? Worse, sometimes you get a pizza rookie that puts all the ingredients in the middle of the pizza, making it nice and soggy while still ensuring the rest of the pizza lacks flavor.
3. The Special Dipping Sauce
Breadsticks are pizza without the sauce, but you can buy the sauce to dip it in if you still want it to taste like pizza.
…or you can order a pepperoni pizza without the pepperoni, then pay for the pepperoni to be put on afterward!
4. Pre-prepared Pizzas
Ever find that your pizza tastes like it’s not cooked enough? That’s because they’re supposed to be made to order, and yet often times before a busy day pizzas will be made and then pushed back into the refrigerator until it is needed. However, this is not how the oven times are calculated, and this could result in a lack of crispness and some sogginess, not to mention an unevenly cooked pizza.
5. No Logic
So let’s say a pizza place charges per topping, and then lets you know that toppings cost additional. Let’s say you like the meatlover’s pizza, but you don’t like the hamburger meat. So you ask them to substitute the hamburger with olives. You know what you’re most likely to see?
A $1.00 charge for olives.
How does this even begin to make sense? First of all, a meat is worth more than a vegetable as a topping, hands-down. Second, by taking the hamburger away, that topping should be “on credit” and therefore not charge me. “But sir, when I hit the button it charges you!”
Write on that receipt with a sharpie if you have to. Don’t try to play helpless with me!