One day, we’ll wonder how we could have been so blind!
You may have seen many of our reports about sea otters celebrating the holidays at the Monterey Bay Aquarium – but they don’t get to have all the fun!
Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, America! We’re really doing this? We’re going to make a reboot movie of a show which literally took action footage from another show and inserted white people to make a completely new show with roughly the same storylines and battle scenes?
Okay, I’m down. But we all know this is going to be bad, right? Even the best parts of the original show are bad. Awesome? Sure, but nobody thinks that this is going to be good, right? Like am I going to be mad because Saban’s Power Rangers was overlooked by the Academy? Every year, I keep expecting the acting for the latest Power Rangers franchise to get better because, hey, it’s 2016, maybe they figured it out by now. No such luck. The movie will not be better. CG doesn’t make everything better.
This is the armor Saban made for the very first movie. Besides removing the lump that was the Yellow Ranger’s package (he was a man in Japan, you see) and making everyone shiny with little coin logos, there wasn’t much modification done. Now we have alien cyber-suits, possibly some kind of bio-engineered thing. But of course those aliens made sure the girls got boob cups and high heels.
And let’s not forget our classy villain played by
Academy Award Winner wait no sorry Elizabeth Banks. She’ll be wearing an equally practical suit for ruling the world. Is that part of her gauntlet doubling as shoulder armor for an otherwise bare shoulder? She looks like a stand-in for Poison Ivy from Batman and Robin.
Ooh. Just got a chill. Must be a freeze coming.
The only way I’m really on board with this is if it really embraces what it is and doesn’t even try to be serious. This is not going to be Chris Nolan material – heck I’ll be glad if it’s even Chris Rock material.
Half of the success of the Power Rangers is the amount of camp in it. No camp = no Power Rangers. If they try to get dark and gritty, or worse, go the way of CG = Everything. If that happens, I wouldn’t be surprised if we got an apology to the fans a decade later.
I could swear I’ve seen something like this, where an alien suit gets dropped down and some kid finds it and uses it to fight the alien chasing after the suit… I could never find that movie. I guess I won’t have that problem anymore after this. Just…
(UPDATE 5/7/16: Because the Internet is mighty, I found it. The movie is called Star Kid. Don’t watch it. Just rest knowing that it was found. Curiosity satisfied. Case closed. Keep moving. Don’t IMDB it.)
Are we sure we want millions spent on this? Don’t we have a struggling education system that could use the money more? What if they just made a new series with our own CG and solid acting and just aired it after Arrow on the CW until people realizes it won’t work, or it backfires and goes on for 10 more seasons and makes a lot of people famous?
I can’t believe I didn’t see this before: WHERE’S FREAKIN’ TOMMY?!
I mean, yes, they’re probably doing the whole evil to good arc considering that’s the only story arc worth anything from Mighty Morphin’, but still… how dare they cause us to doubt his presence. Obviously if they can’t get JDF in there they should at least have the character.
Apparently, the writer of Dragon Ball: Evolution has apologized to fans for writing that monstrosity of a movie. I think it’s admirable for him to put the onus on himself considering there was way more than awful writing going on with that movie. Also, there are many who suspect that if not for this horrible movie, Toriyama wouldn’t have come back with Battle of the Gods and Resurrection of F, not to mention his decision to continue the series.
“I went into the project chasing after a big payday, not as a fan of the franchise but as a businessman taking on an assignment. I have learned that when you go into a creative endeavor without passion you come out with sub-optimal results, and sometimes flat out garbage. So I’m not blaming anyone for Dragonball but myself. As a fanboy of other series, I know what it’s like to have something you love and anticipate be so disappointing.”
We forgive you. Now let’s forget. Forever. Don’t be that guy that keeps getting our attention so you can keep apologizing. We all want to forget this movie.
Surely by now you have heard of the octopus that escaped the Aquarium in New Zealand. “Inky” was his name. This octopus escaped the aquarium. It didn’t seize an opportunity during feeding. It waited until the dead of night, escaped its tank, and made its way to a drain and is apparently currently at large in the Bay somewhere. He left behind a tank mate, but apparently he’s not talking.
Apparently, this is not an atypical event.
Wood has known octopuses that have broken out of sealed observation containers and closed aquariums; some—like an octopus in Bermuda—escaped multiple times to eat the inhabitants of nearby aquariums. Others, like Inky, just made a run for the nearest water bodies.
Excuse me? We as human beings can’t contain octopuses? This is danger sign number one, mark my words. Let’s see what we know about the enemy through some quick, ferocious YouTube/Wikipedia research.
What in the heck have we gotten ourselves into? We can’t even properly pluralize these creatures, let alone fight them. Octopodes have three hearts. Three. They have no skeletons, with their “beak” being the only hard part of their bodies. Why the heck are we looking for aliens with these monstrosities undealt with?
Octopodes also have an unexplained ability to learn. Unexplained, why? Because they live in the sea, not in a community of scholars; they have no use for learning. They don’t raise their young and pass on behaviors or anything. They just learn.
They have been known to recognize faces and have the capacity for long and short-term memory. They have been known to use tools and set up shelters. Large octopuses have also been known to catch and kill some species of sharks.
Yeah… Don’t say I didn’t warn us.
So the human race has decided to feign ignorance when the signs are all around us. There’s an octopus that takes photos. This is ridiculous. The literal – and unknowingly ironic headline for this article begins “Step aside humans…”
Further signs? Well I have this article that jokingly shows signs of an octopus uprising. You won’t be laughing for long.