It Begins…

Surely by now you have heard of the octopus that escaped the Aquarium in New Zealand.  “Inky” was his name.  This octopus escaped the aquarium.  It didn’t seize an opportunity during feeding.  It waited until the dead of night, escaped its tank, and made its way to a drain and is apparently currently at large in the Bay somewhere.  He left behind a tank mate, but apparently he’s not talking.

Apparently, this is not an atypical event.

Wood has known octopuses that have broken out of sealed observation containers and closed aquariums; some—like an octopus in Bermuda—escaped multiple times to eat the inhabitants of nearby aquariums. Others, like Inky, just made a run for the nearest water bodies.

Excuse me?  We as human beings can’t contain octopuses?  This is danger sign number one, mark my words.  Let’s see what we know about the enemy through some quick, ferocious YouTube/Wikipedia research.

Know Thy Enemy

schematic_lateral_aspect_of_octopod_features

What in the heck have we gotten ourselves into?  We can’t even properly pluralize these creatures, let alone fight them.  Octopodes have three hearts.  Three.  They have no skeletons, with their “beak” being the only hard part of their bodies.  Why the heck are we looking for aliens with these monstrosities undealt with?

Octopodes also have an unexplained ability to learn.  Unexplained, why?  Because they live in the sea, not in a community of scholars; they have no use for learning.  They don’t raise their young and pass on behaviors or anything.  They just learn.

They have been known to recognize faces and have the capacity for long and short-term memory.  They have been known to use tools and set up shelters.  Large octopuses have also been known to catch and kill some species of sharks.

Yeah… Don’t say I didn’t warn us.

08-01

UPDATE (4/19/16):

So the human race has decided to feign ignorance when the signs are all around us.  There’s an octopus that takes photos.  This is ridiculous.  The literal – and unknowingly ironic headline for this article begins “Step aside humans…”

Further signs?  Well I have this article that jokingly shows signs of an octopus uprising.  You won’t be laughing for long.

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